"Slim body, fat wallet", “Lose two dress sizes", " Best butt ever", and my personal favourite "New year, new you".
Something strange happened. A small surge of rage, self-loathing and frustration caused a temporary short circuit deep in my brain. Involuntary reflexes took over my body and coordinated themselves to chuck the magazine into the trash without even opening it. There wasn’t even a moment to consider the recycling bin.
Now besides the obvious of pretending to be a health magazine when in fact it is just a giant catalogue of shit to buy, it was telling me that 2013 me wasn't good enough...at all.
I was too poor, too fat and my butt was not defying gravity. In the most important facets of being, 2013 me was just shitty. Oh but not to worry, this piece of pulp had my back. All the wisdom, clothes, shoes and butt exercises 2014 me would ever need to feel at peace…until of course February’s edition comes out to take care of my jiggly arms.
I can't handle this anymore. I feel like every day and in any way possible we are told that we're not good enough.
The truth of it is that we all have ways we can grow but it’s not a question of reinventing ourselves every January 1st, or Monday or right before your friend’s wedding. It’s about building off the good and the bad, about thinking hard on what really makes us tick. And it’s probably not shoes or a truly amazing set of gams.
I don't want to wish I looked like this or ate like that or owned those shoes, because it’s a rat race that I can never ever win and the sick part of it is that dissatisfaction is the point! Because if we were satisfied, if we were ever content with ourselves for even one fucking day, the world as we know it would completely change.