To push comparisons a bit further, I thought I’d put out there some other things that are generally not accepted about the one-man-one-woman-marriage. Divorce is also frowned upon, so should wedding planners and cake makers be able to refuse jobs that would make them party to a second, third or fourth marriage? What about straight couples that aren’t planning to have children and their heterosexual marriage has nothing to do with the expansion of their families? Should these people also be refused services because their wedding is not the start of the “ideal” marriage? The bottom line is that it is not the place of these people to validate the marriage of the patrons, gay or straight.
Now I know the easiest thing for all involved would have been for this couple to just go somewhere else where their business was welcome. In other words, to get over it.
Being the accepted norm makes me privileged. And in that privilege I can be ignorant or forget the struggle of those who are not. I can say things like: it’s not like I ever had slaves, maybe Black people should just let it go. Or I could say: First Nations people get free education and so many subsidies; they should just get over residential schools and get on with their lives.
But by that thinking a man could also say to me: women have all the same opportunities as men, this whole feminism thing needs to die. And this would rightly piss me right off. I would say: who are you to say that women need to get over it? I don’t see you with a uterus being tossed around the political table. I don’t see half of Canadian men experiencing sexual assault. I don’t see you making less than your coworkers for doing the same job.
And then I'd say, wow, that really sucked having someone assume that everything was okay and I should just get over it. I think sometimes we confuse standing up for ourselves as being angry or bitter just because we can. There may be some people who have their claws out and lash at something said out of honest ignorance. But as my favorite saying goes: please see the hurt behind my anger.
Someday Black Pride month and Gay Pride parades and feminism may not be needed, maybe someday as an entire society we will have all gotten over it because there is nothing left to get over. That is the goal but do not let your place of privilege fool you into thinking that we are already there.